Beginnings
by Berettelser
Summary: Something that could have happened in the episode: Lovers Walk. Spike Xander : pre slash


Disclaimer: the characters of Buffy the vampire slayer does not belong to me

Feedback: Is very much appreciated!

Beginnings

His head hurt, a lot. And he was going to throw up any minute now. It felt like someone was trying to push out his eyes from the inside of his skull. Xander could actually visualise his eyes popping out of his skull and landing in front of him it hurt so much.  
But that image didn't really help with the not throwing up part and he was trying really hard not to. Xander absolutely hated to be sick, ever since the time he was eleven years old and got a little enthusiastic while eating sorbet ice cream, he hadn't been able to have any since that day either, and sorbet had really been his favourite.  
He really shouldn't think about that, not when he was already nauseous and doing his best not to throw up all over this nice bed.

It wasn't Xander's bed though, and wasn't that a nerve-racking realisation. If he wasn't at home in his own bed where the hell was he?  
When the answer didn't come to him magically or otherwise the thought came to him, a little late, that maybe it would be of some help if he in fact raised his head from the really comfortable bed and took a look around. Yeah that was a good idea, he would go with it.

Xander carefully moved his head to the left and swallowed compulsively when the nausea threatened to get the best of him. He hadn't thought it possible to feel this sick without doing the deed, it was never pleasant to be wrong. He pressed his head down on his hands trying to burrow in to the mattress below where it was cool and dark; dark was good. The back of his hands were wet, where he'd pressed his forehead, he was sweating. But he was cold, cold sweat. Xander almost started to giggle, it was so funny. He pressed down the urge to laugh and a shudder past through him, damn it was cold in here.

For a moment Xander almost panicked when he realised he wasn't at home, but then he remembered he'd already had that moment. God he was slow today and confused, more so than usual.  
That must have been some hit to the head. Oh right, he had a concussion. That actually explained a lot, it was stupid of him not to realise it sooner. But today it seemed like he had a very good excuse for not getting it right away. Heh, he would use it in class the next time a teacher tried to humiliate him .

Xander moved his head again, just a little, his whole body tensing in preparation for the nausea to hit him. It didn't, well it didn't increase at least. Xander decided he could manage and raised his head a bit more. When nothing unfortunate happened he pushed up his upper body from the bed and looked around carefully. He couldn't see anything that gave him a clue about where he was. It would probably help if he wasn't facing a wall. He could only turn his head so much, he would have to turn around in the bed and take a look at the rest of the place.

Xander could at least reason that he was inside, the absolutely freezing air notwithstanding. Xander really, really didn't want to move but some things would have to be endured for the sake of survival. Xander managed to flip over on his back, it took some effort. He should probably be scared, Xander didn't think it was a good sign that he wasn't, maybe he was brain damaged. That would explain a lot of things.

Hopefully the no fear thing could be explained by something other than brain damage but something was definitely wrong in Xander-land. Cause waking up in an unknown location with a severe head wound, Xander touched the side of his head to confirm his suspicion, his fingers came away wet and sticky and his scalp stung, a different pain from the dull throbbing of his head. Xander made a face and wiped his hand thoroughly on the bed. Yep, definitely a head wound, and with no memory how he got it, not to mention the never-ending nausea that took up most of his concentration.

This would have been cause for complete panic in a normal day, Sunnydale normal anyway, but hey, why see a gift horse in the mouth, it wasn't everyday Xander could wake up in a hostile environment and not be scared out of his mind. Maybe this would help him think and not just act on impulse, that's usually what got him knocked on his ass, and really, Xander wasn't going to be scared of not being scared. He had better things to occupy his mind, like not throwing up and finding a way out.

The second thing proved to be difficult, it was very dark so he had trouble seeing anything much less a way out or any kind of weapon. A weapon would be good right about now. Well he certainly wasn't going to find anything sitting on his ass, or more accurately lying on his back.  
That decided Xander took a deep breath and swung his legs to the side, pushing himself up so he was sitting in a somewhat straight position, well as straight as he could make it any way. Xander released the air he'd been holding and rested his elbows on his knees, his head bent towards his chest.  
Xander wasn't feeling so sick anymore the nausea had almost gone away entirely, that was of the good, that was really of the good.

Xander took another deep breath and released it, then another, he was feeling a lot better. Okay, he could do this. Xander braced himself with his hands and pushed himself of the bed. He swayed a little and there were white spots dancing in front of his eyes. He could hardly see anything anyways so it wasn't so bad, and hey, he was standing on his own two feet without holding on to anything, well okay his calves was resting slightly against the side of the bed but that hardly counted.

Xander took a careful step forward testing his balance. So far so good, he was still standing he hadn't fallen in to a heap on the floor. Xander took another careful step forward and promptly fell into a heap on the floor. He'd stepped on something.

"Xander"? or someone.  
"Willow, is that you?". Xander carefully patted the dark in front of him, moving his arms in big sweeping movements trying to find her. He couldn't find her or anything else for that matter, but the floor in this place definitely needed sweeping. Something brushed up against him and Xander automatically grabbed onto it and after making sure it was a person, a Willow shaped person he hugged her with all his might, not letting go until he heard a muffled squeak against his chest. Something was patting his arm, Willow was obviously trying to get his attention .  
"What?" Xander squeezed a little harder making sure she was still there, he could feel a lightness in his chest and he wanted to laugh again. God there was definitely something wrong with him.

Willow mumbled something into his shirt and he let her go a little trying to hear what she was saying.  
"I can't breathe" she said, clearly sounding out of breath.  
"Oh" Xander let go of her, feeling sheepish .  
"I didn't mean to squash you". But he did and he still wanted to make her into his own personal teddy bear.  
"That's okay. I really felt like getting a hug to." She grabbed Xander's hand and he held on to it, trapping her hand between both of his. Willow's fingers were cold, freezing.

Xander squinted trying to make her out in the dark, he could only see a vague outline of her, not enough to see is she was all right. "Why were you lying on the floor, are you okay"  
"Yeah, I must have fallen asleep, we've been here for awhile." Xander could feel her hand shaking a little in his so he rubbed it between his hands, trying to get some warmth into her.  
"Why don't we go sit on the bed it's much softer than the floor and warmer and it's got a blanket!" Xander suggested, tugging at her hand as he tried to stand up. He heard her shuffling below him and almost fell down again as she pulled on his hand. He braced himself and helped her get of the floor.

The bed wasn't far away and Xander sat down gratefully when he felt the edge of the bed against his legs, dragging willow down with him in the process.  
She fell against him with a huff and Xander took the opportunity to hug her against him.

"Are you all right Xander? He clocked you pretty hard and you've been unconscious a long time. I've been really worried about you, cause I couldn't wake you and you're suppose to be awake when you've got a concussion. And I'm pretty sure that you have. I mean I would be surprised if you didn't have one, not that you should have one, It would be really good if you didn't have one, really good."

Xander relaxed when she started talking, She had been so quiet he was beginning to think there was something wrong, well except for the obvious, that perhaps she had been hurt in some way. It was a relief to hear the normal nervous willow babble spill out from her, She couldn't be seriously hurt if she as talking this much.  
"Don't worry I'm all right but I probably have a concussion, my head is killing me and if I'd stepped on you earlier you'd be wearing my dinner now." Xander patted her shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring way and tried to see her in the dark, he wasn't any more successful this time.  
"Gross Xander" Willow made a disgusted sound and Xander felt her doing a little upper body shake.  
"Your not gonna throw up on me now, are you Xander?" She asked a minute later, like an afterthought.  
" I'll try not to" Xander kept his tone dry and Willow laughed a little. Xander considered that a small victory; anything to lighten the mood.

"So" Xander started, trying to sound as casual as possible, "do you know what's happened?" Hopefully it wasn't something terrible, maybe they could get out of this situation intact.  
"Spike happened, you don't remember him coming to the school, and you know, knocking you out"  
"No, I must have repressed that and part of the day just to be sure I wouldn't remember anything useful.  
So did it work, the spell? Cause it feels like it worked, but hey, that could be the very deadly predicament were in at the moment, can't say I'm feeling very amorous right now…"Xander stopped talking, the seriousness of their situation did not get any better by being flip and it didn't even cheer him up so it was no use.

"No," Willow answered his question and for a second Xander couldn't remember what he had asked but that didn't matter because Willow continued without pause;" Spike came in before we finished it, he wants something done, a spell for Drusilla. So she won't leave him, or you know, so she'll come back to him cause she's already left him and that's why he's here, to get her back. I was so scared Xander. He really scared me and I don't know what to do. I always know what to do. Well not always but at least I have a plan or some idea of what to do but not now, I don't know anything, not where we are or what to do, I can't even think of a spell to make us see something. I'm really scared."

Willows flow of words stopped abruptly and Xander's chest constricted with anxiety, Willow's babble wasn't a relief any more, it was obvious how scared she was. They would probably die when Spike came back from wherever he was, Xander was eternally grateful that it wasn't there with them, and Xander wouldn't be able to stop him from hurting Willow. He couldn't even stand up without being in danger of falling on his own ass. Xander wouldn't be able to stop Spike from doing anything, he was useless, but that didn't mean Xander would ever give up.

"Did you check the place while I was out cold?" Hopefully she would know something and maybe calm down.  
"Yeah, I think we're in a basement, I mean we had to go down a stairwell and there are no windows or doors other than the one at the top of the stairwell, but that's locked, I already checked"  
"Well It's not like he's gonna throw us in a basement and then just leave the door open. You didn't find anything we could use for weapons? preferable made out of wood". Xander looked around the room, it did not look promising.

Willow sounded dejected when she answered;" No there's nothing here, it's just the bed and that's not made out of wood in any way, I checked that to.  
"Well that sucks but it's not exactly a surprise, and who are we kidding anyway it's not like we're gonna be able to kill him or even hurt him, not even Buffy could keep him down for long." And that was so not the thing to say when he wanted to keep Willow's mood from sinking any lower, from now on he would keep his depressing thoughts to himself.

"I", Willow started, But Xander shushed her.  
"I heard something." Xander fell silent and listened expectantly, trying to hear the sound again. There it was! Some kind of scratching, creaking sound coming from in front of him and high up to. It was the door on top of the stairwell. Spike was back.

Xander's breath became shallow and he made a conscious effort to keep from panicking. He had to keep calm to be able to get Willow out of this, and hopefully himself to.

The door creaked and swung open, bringing light with it. Blessed light. Xander blinked to adjust his eyes and sighed in disappointment; Willow was right, there was nothing there not even a convenient steel pipe lying about. What self respecting basement had no junk lying about, certainly not his.

Footsteps coming down the stairs brought Xander's attention back where it belonged. Willow's hand crept into his and he could imagine the picture they had to make, like two children sitting on a bed, holding hands and waiting to get eaten. Still he couldn't make himself let go of her hand.

Spike came down the stairs slowly, like he wanted to make an entrance, which he probably did. He was humming something, Xander had no idea what it was but it was cheerful. It made Xander even more nervous, or scared, it all depended on how you looked at it, in Xander's point of view he was nervous.

Spikes decent came at an end at the bottom of the stairs and he leaned back at one of the railings. He was like a click of colour, all red shirt and toothy white smile, yes, Spike was smiling, Xander had a vampire smiling and looking at him and his best friend. This was not a pleasant experience.

Spike continued humming and looking pleased while Xander stayed quiet, for once apparently having the same thought as Willow of not drawing any unnecessary attention. Not that there was anything else in this basement to keep Spike's attention but why risk it.

" I have come to a decision", Spike declared out of the blue, breaking the silence he had caused by stepping in to the room, basement, whatever. Xander didn't know if he was relieved or not. On the bright side, if Spike wanted to talk to them maybe they weren't thought of as food, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to kill them. It was all very confusing, at least right now. Xander blamed the possible concussion. Anyway it wasn't like he was going to miss it if Spike decided to kill them.

"I don't need her any more, but si.  
"Who?", Spike was cut off mid sentence. Xander didn't even realise that he was the one who had talked until Spike looked at him with a surprised expression. But then who else would be stupid enough to interrupt a vampire, it certainly wasn't Willow. It was not good that Xander couldn't trust his thoughts to stay in his head instead of coming out his mouth unfiltered, especially not in this company. "Drusilla", Spike answered his question like it should have been obvious.  
"But", he continued like he hadn't been interrupted, "since I don't need her I want someone else.." Spike paused and looked expectantly at them, or rather at Willow and Xander did to, automatically looking where Spikes was.

Willow had gone absolutely white, well a lot paler than was usual, for her anyway. Her hand was gripping his harder than it had before, she'd obviously read something into Spike's words that Xander hadn't to warrant that kind of reaction. Xander had missed something while he was unconscious.

Spike pushed of the railing, where he'd been leaning and started to walk towards them, or not, it was more like a prowl. Xander leaned back without meaning to, he stopped when he realised what he was doing, straightened back up and tried hard not to look scared. He wasn't sure he was successful.  
Spike didn't have to walk far, five or six steps at the most and he was already there, standing in front of them.

A pale hand reached out to touch and Xander flinched back reflexively, he really had to stop doing that but he didn't have to worry, cause Spike had already buried his hand in Willow's beautiful red hair and was griping the back of her head, tilting her face upwards.  
"And you love will do just fine." Spike's lips quirked at that, a small private smile, like it was amusing in some way, when it so wasn't.

Xander got it now; the sexual innuendo , it wasn't obvious but he could see it now thathe knew it was there. The way Spike looked at Willow and smiled at her all predator like, but that could just be Xander's imagination. Anyway, it didn't matter because Xander would never let Willow get hurt, not like that.  
Willows grip on his hand tightened even more, almost till the point of pain. Xander squeezed back reassuringly, Willow would get out of this all right, he'd make sure of it.

Spike didn't seem to know Xander was even there, he was so caught up in watching Willow, that wasn't good.  
"Hey, blood breath, why don't you pick on someone your own size", Xander looked up at Spike and smiled mockingly, "or you know, someone bigger".

Xander held his breath and watched Spike, he didn't look murderous but what did Xander know, really it wasn't like he'd spent that much time in the company of Spike or vampires in general. Well, there was Angel but he didn't count, it wasn't like he had any facial expressions Xander could read anyway.

" You boy, are not very bright, are you."  
" No" Xander agreed, "can't say that I am.  
But Spike was letting go of Willow's hair and taking a step back. He was now focusing all that attention on Xander instead, which was of course terrifying but part of the big Xander-plan, so far all was good.

Spike reached out a hand and cupped the side of Xander's face, his fingers digging a little by his temple. It hurt and when Spike withdrew his hand there was blood on his fingers. Spike held his hand in front of him, tilting it this way and that, studying it like it was fascinating. Xander personally didn't see the appeal but he guessed it could be the blood…

"Taken quite a hit to the head you have, I reckon it's scrambled your brain a bit". Spike ended his intense scrutiny of his own hand and brought it up to his mouth, licking it clean like he was a cat. When he finished there was some blood staining his bottom lip. The red stood out amidst all that white, it was distracting but Xander couldn't bring himself to point it out.

"Don't forget who I am boy, just because I haven't killed you or hurt you other wise, does not mean that I won't.  
The last part of Spike's words were followed by a pointed look at Xander. His tone was at odds with his words, he sounded bored, like he could care less about Xander or his smart mouth. Spike's attention was already wandering back to Willow. That would not do.

"My name is Xander" Xander said, watching Spike, half expecting to have his throat torn out at any moment. Spike gave no reaction to Xander's words or any indication that he'd even heard him. Xander opened his mouth and prepared to say something else that would probably get him killed, anything to keep Spikes attention really.

The air went out of his lungs with an oof sound and Xander was lying on his back once more, the only difference was that this time there was an enraged vampire crouching above him. Yes, this was a great idea, taunt the vampire and see what happens, one of his best plans so far, well thought out.  
Spike leaned in lower over Xander who was suddenly painfully aware of what position he was in, lying on his back with his legs spread and spike practically lying between them. This was not a dignified position at all to be in and it gave no leverage whatsoever.

Xander felt a cold hand drag through his hair and grip painfully, Spike's other arm went to rest just below Xander's collar bone, obviously mindful of not choking him.  
Spike leaned close to Xander, whispering in his ear.  
"Don't test me boy, I'm not known for my patience". Spikes mouth was so close to Xander's ear that he could feel the air Spike breathed in order to talk. It made the hair at the back of his neck stand on end.

Xander had no idea what to do, he certainly had Spikes attention but he didn't want to talk, he had a feeling that Spike might actually kill him if he did. Xander was rather surprised he wasn't dead already, what with the pouncing and crouching and mouth dangerously close to Xander's neck thing.  
" Maybe I have something else planned for you". Spike said, still close to his ear, sending shivers down Xander's spine.  
That no talking thing wasn't working so well cause apparently Xander's mouth was not in any way connected to his brain. Xander must have voiced his thoughts out loud without being aware of doing it. He might as well kill himself and get it over with. Spike's words caught up to him.

"What else would you want with me?". Really, Xander was drawing a blank, and he probably shouldn't have asked that.  
Spike pushed down with his body, resting his weight on Xander, his hips thrusting once to make a point. Xander was totally getting the point.  
Talking was definitely a bad idea, Xander settled for trying to sink through the mattress, trying to get as far away from Spike as possible. It wasn't very far, nowhere in fact and Xander's legs ached from trying to keep from touching Spike, who, by the way, had really blue eyes, that sparkled. Vampire eyes should not sparkle, especially not while looking in to Xander's, it was unsettling.

It felt like Xander's heart was trying to jump out of his chest, it was beating so hard. Xander felt something touching his foot and jerked involuntarily, pressing close to Spike for a moment who pressed back into Xander with his hips, taking that movement like some sort of encouragement, and it totally wasn't! Xander glared at Willow over Spike's shoulder, she looked back apologetically, obviously trying to reassure him. Xander had completely forgotten about Willow, which was ridiculous cause she was the reason he was doing this.

The door was still open. Xander just saw it, but really, he should have realised it sooner. He could see after all which hadn't been possible until Spike had opened the door and let some light in to the place. There were no lamps in the basement, Xander had decided that this was definitely a basement. Right, so now Xander had a plan; he would distract Spike while Willow made her escape.

Xander kicked a little at her with his foot and tried to nod discretely in the direction of the door, willing her to understand him, this was not an easy thing to do while having a vampire on top of him but Xander tried his best.  
Willow had never been stupid, she looked at the door and then back at him, raising her eyebrows in a silent question. Xander nodded again and she started to move towards the stairs. Xander hoped that she would think that this had been the plan all a long. Cause making the best of things as they happened was really not the best plan. Xander liked the new one much better.

There was something wet on Xander's throat. Spike was mouthing his Adams apple, Xander swallowed compulsively. He could feel Spike's smile against his skin just a moment before he licked a wet streak along Xander's throat up to his ear.  
"Your little friend has run off and left you all alone". Spike hadn't even checked to see where Willow was, he must have known what was going on the entire time. This did not speak of good things for Xander.  
"What do you think will happen now? the witch is gone and it's only you left". Spike didn't seem to want an answer to his question so Xander didn't say anything. He wouldn't know what to say anyway, Xander hadn't actually thought this far ahead, when he'd been thinking that is. This had all happened so fast, or at least that's what it felt like to Xander.

At least he'd gotten one thing right, Willow had made her escape and Spike didn't seem inclined to go chasing after her. That was good. Now he just had to find a way to get out of this situation himself. The chances of that were slim. Xander's head was spinning at the mere thought of moving let alone making some elaborate escape.  
Hopefully Spike would stick with what he'd said and not kill Xander right away.

"what, pray tell, will you do now little boy?" Spike whispered in his ear.  
Yes, what indeed?  
Xander lifted his head and licked that spot of blood that somehow still marred Spike's bottom lip, It had been distracting Xander this entire time. It was not disgusting, cause it was his own blood and it tasted a bit like copper.

Xander rested a hand lightly on Spike's shirt clad side and tried to discretely stretch his legs a bit, trying to get comfortable. A hand at the side of his face drew his attention back to Spike, his thumb was resting just below Xander's bottom lip. As if Spike knew he had Xander's undivided attention once more he moved his thumb, dragging it over Xander's lip. Xander stuck his tongue out fast and tasted that to; it wasn't bad.

Spike's expression was almost inscrutable but he was surprised, and pleased, Xander could see that much.  
No, Xander wouldn't die. At least not tonight.  
That might not even be such a bad thing.

End


End file.
